El niño

Soooo, apparently my son likes to cause trouble.
A couple weeks ago, he evidently pressed himself against Colleen's kidney area, causing a backup of fluid which led to a urinary tract infection. After about 10 antibiotic prescriptions, things seem to have cleared up. The nausea is back, painkillers are helping with the back pain, and I don't think there is room for me in the bed when I get back. It sounds like sleeping requires some complicated system of pillows and stuffed animals positioned in just the right places. Of course, this set-up has to be repeated after each of the several bathroom visits during the night. I almost forgot the heartburn that comes with eating anything, even plain toast and water has been known to cause some reflux at times.
On top of all this, his favorite position to be in is with his butt wedged as far as he can get it into Colleen's ribcage, which, I am told, is incredibly uncomfortable. But at least he takes a break from this position around 10pm every night to swim laps back and forth (and hopefully practice his fútbol moves!).
I also want to point out that any of this behavior causes him to immediately be labeled "my son", because any trait that causes his mother to be annoyed is my fault, of course.